Helen T's blog

And about time too

So I have been glaringly absent from blogging for some time for a multitude of reasons and, I must confess to having missed it to.

It all went a bit haywire during the final push and the lead up to Christmas was very stressful indeed. The turkey came to pass after a mammoth effort by Barry and Calum to get the kitchen in. It looked almost too good to use and the concealed oven was and is a thing of wonderment. A few negative responses to the cooker hood, mainly from my family who (asked many times) why we had chosen to install our boiler above the hob. Obviously will not be coming again unless written apologies are received.

Generally, we have had a gratifyingly warm response to our efforts but some unwelcome remarks have been mentally logged for future vengence and others for mere comedy value:

"Striking only in it's bareness" - Sister in law re garden.

"Remind me why you bought this house?" - brother re everything.

"In Jamaica, people would not keep cows in a place like this" - Daniel at start of project.

"You could buy an executive home in Chelmsford for half of that"- friends husband.

" I'm not being funny but this is a right shithole"- said on two occasions by two separate people.

" The problem is you are just not used to hard work" - lovely Antonio the plasterer as I attempted to knock out a fireplace.

" I've just seen you having the sand delivered so I thought I would come and take some" - pensioner across the road when I asked why she was going back and forth to her gaff with MY materials. I was too amused to stop her and guess that she must have removed about half a ton during the course of the day.

" This is amazing and so stylish - I would never have thought that you would have a house like this (as you are so obviously a hideous frump from hell with no taste)" - mother of daughters friend.

" This hallway is crying out for brass reproduction door chimes" - Alan the electrician lamenting my choice of bell box.

" When are the carpets coming?" - various pensioners following our days of floorboard sanding.

"I've got a lovely plastic lace cloth that size" - lovely elderly friend feeling sorry for us having seen the new walnut table which we had just taken delivery of.

" If only it were in Dulwich Village......sigh....poor you blah blah blah" - virtually everyone in the world who refuse to believe we actually like East Dulwich.

" How's that house of yours coming on ?- I'll lend you a bbq for your turkey you know" - the lovely Dave at William Rose Butchers.

" Let me take you to lunch - hang the expense let's make it The Harvester" - George.

And so they went on.

are these shots of number four pre and post extension.




It seems an age since we knocked the old extensions down but in fact it was late July when Tui's team swooped down and raised the lot to the ground. How weird that the wallpaper (so lovingly applied by Jack in about 1970) should have clung so firmly to the wall in a last act of defiance when every thing else fell. Hopefully the next 16 weeks worth of work can be seen in the after shot and no-one will think it a heinous crime to have knocked down what was there for the new extension. Since the after shot was taken, Antonio has finished tiling the terrace and steps and will, tomorrow, begin tiling the inside. Barry will then come to fit the walnut kitchen he has built, at the end of next week.



I am feeling very excited but also very scared as the kitchen will either hit or miss with nothing in between. In fact I was so scared by my choices on Friday that I had no choice but to consume some Trampagne ( Strongbow in a can no less) with a friend while insisting she re-measure everything and prop my fragile ego. So very, very sad.

Anyway, having reassured myself all was well I then received some bad news re applicances. Despite having ordered and paid for everything in good time the shambles who sold it all to me have cocked up and cannot deliver on time or anywhere near. Lovely recorded message trumpeting their customer care etc etc but it is all complete nonsense. So then Fiasco,(note cunning change of name for legal reasons) for the avoidance of doubt you are dumped and welcome back to Buyers and Sellers (www.buyersandsellersonline.co.uk). I should never have defected in the first place.

 

but I must say NO NO NO

 

actually that is a lie. As we approach the final few weeks of Number Four I have found my eyes wandering again. Although we still have floors to lay and kitchens to fit I cannot help but feel slightly sad that the end is near and would love to find a sad little flat or house for the New Year. I have started to accumulate little piles of local papers just in case something derelict winks at me.

 

If we keep on schedule then we will pretty much have finished by Christmas and in a touching leap of faith I have ordered a turkey in a belief that we shall be able to cook it come Christmas Day. Turkeys in East Dulwich have proved controversial this season with many pages of of the East Dulwich forum (www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk) given over to William Rose and their allocation of Christmas Fayre. Due to very high demand and only limited storage space, they have allowed regular customers only first dibs on Christmas orders although there will be tons of stuff to buy without ordering too. Various "outraged" casual customers have berated the poor butchers for this slight although it seems perfectly fair and sensible to me ( note smug tone from regular customer). The irony is of course that when WR opened in East Dulwich we all leapt for joy at having such a fine addition to the High Street and marvelled at such a small concern providing such quality from such small premises. So for those who have missed out and fear no bird this season I may be able to help out (for a King's Ransom of course) and flog on my organic beauty.

 

That digression aside, I am thrilled at the prospect of having a kitchen again. As I type, the marvellous Rupert is assembling the Ikea units for the utility area and over in another part of town Barry and others are creating the walnut cabinets for the main area. I have visions of myself becoming a great hostess, throwing legendary parties for hundreds. The reality of course will be much less glamorous with three small children just being delighted to have something other than pasta for tea. 

 

And so it came to pass that at 4.30pm Friday 2nd November 2007, the bombsite that was the rear of number four became a lush green oasis.

 

Pete and the chaps began laying the lawn, all 380m2 at about 8.00am and by afternoon it was done. The change was quite magical to behold and the grim view at the back of the house has been completely transformed.The children are desperate to step on it and roll down the bank at the back but we need to leave it for a few weeks before any of those shenanigans can commence. The new fencing looks quite lovely and overall masses has been achieved on a very tight budget. Pete has now moved his focus to the front of the house where Jack's lovingly made (yet hellish to behold) fence has been removed and yet more bizarre outcrops of concrete found. Unsurprisingly, we have managed yet another two twenty yarders in the process. I will not know what to do with myself when Monday morning's arrive without the fanfare of the skip mans hooter blasting through the air. How will I spend my weekly skip budget? Maybe there is a skipman's benevolent fund to which I could contribute rather than greasing the palms of the living...

 

Now all we have to do is get the floating terrace tiled and the drainage channels covered in some suitably attractive stones and the garden will be done until we can afford some planting in the spring.

 

One of the biggest challenges at number four has been the garden. The early images show a sprawling plot that had been pretty much covered with sheds and outhouses. When these were filled, various heaps of rubbish and materials were simply left to fester in the garden. One of the largest heaps was covered in ivy and upon further investigation proved to be several thousand London Stock bricks which had come from the walled garden which had been knocked down to make way for a never built garage.

 

Although we had cleared the garden of sheds the main rubbish at the beginning of the project, actually tackling the garden proper has been deferred - until now.

 

The garden is 150ft long and about 35ft wide. What makes this garden so great, ie size, is also it's weakness in terms of landscaping it. The costs of tackling this, even to merely fence and turf, had seemed prohibitive. To actually incorporate any sort of design seemed impossible as the plot itself slopes up toward the end of the garden and is about 1m higher on the left. We had already figured we would need a JCB to get the area terraced or even levelled but then we had the problem of removing the earth which had been excavated. In fact this problem was solved by Sarah Hammond who devised a design incorporating a bank at the rear of the garden which would create interest, retain the different level running along the back of the garden and could use all of the earth that we had moved.  The moving of the earth began on Monday and already the garden is beginning to take shape.

 

Following through from the kitchen extension we are having a terrace at the same floor level and covered in the same tiles. The levels for this have already been dug and we have a concrete slab by the end of Saturday. The tiles are porcelain and can be used inside and out with just a variation of finish to prevent slipping. As we cannot afford any planting at the moment I am hopeful that the terrace will create enough impact until we stumble across another stash of cash. The terrace will appear to float and the channel at the edges will also incorporate the drainage. Steps will be made from shuttered concrete that will then be faced in the tiles used for the floor. Sarah has created some amazing images and her attention to detail puts me to shame. I have reached the stage in the project where to have any sort of garden would be amazing but with her determination I think it is going to be much more than the sum of it's parts.  She has also designed some further stages so that if and when we have more cash the design will grow in stages. Mrs Hammond I salute you.

 

We have had a bit of a touch with the landscaper too. Peter McKnight is a mate of Barry McGovern our builder who put us in touch to get this project of the ground. He was a landscaper in exotic parts but has more recently been involved in laying sports surfaces and pitches - no wonder our plot did not faze him when he is used to laying 10000m of football pitch. He and his team arrived , pulled out the last of the old sheet metal fencing, rid us of our rotting trees and drove the JCB for all they were worth. My kids have been transfixed by the giant digger and dumper at the back and to watch Pete operate them has been a source of wonderment. Maybe Bob the Builder theme parties at our gaff could bring in the bacon?

 

India Gibbon, aged 4, 20th October 2007.

 

Whereas if I had just some of the money in the world I would buy a large team of tradesmen to finish number four. We have been going for almost six months now and although the end is in sight I would like these last bits to hurry along so that we could unpack our belongings and live a bit in this place.

 

The lovely shell is now rewired and rendered and is now being plasterboarded so that we can get the underfloor heating down and the screed laid. This needs to be done ASAP as it has to dry out for a minimum of four weeks before the underfloor heating can be turned on. Although I like the idea of underfloor heating and it was toasty on a winters morning in Upland Road, it is proving less straight forward for this house. Because we have two different areas, on one level, with two different sub floors we need two different circuits each fitted differently - apparently. One company says it is straight forward and another say's it is tricky because our joist centres are not 400mm and therefore we would need a biscuit screed blah blah blah. Cannot bear the thought of complications so that area shall have a radiator instead and jolly well like it as I believe the only biscuit in this house should be of the edible kind. This would also mean that we would have some form of heating in this while the screed dries elsewhere. I have visions of us all wearing woollen combinations before long to stave off the cold. I seem to remember Charles Ingles in The Little House on the Prairie looking strangely alluring in his so maybe this will be  a positive thing.

 

The flooring for such a large area is also proving troublesome. We had identified a fine Basalt tile, 60cm square, but have since learnt that the lead time is in excess of eight weeks but sooner if we want to ship them, at our expense, from a satellite warehouse in Antwerp. Sadly this would double the price and as we need 100m2 for the kitchen and terrace areas is too darn expensive. The solution we have found is a porcelain tile that can be used inside and out and comes in a variety of greys. Although the Basalt would be the King of  floors I am content with a lesser royal for  a saving of about 4k. But if  I had all the money in the world I would have the Basalt and a shed load of courgette's to boot.

 

Ok so that should be party but we cannot have one just yet as we have no back on the house. But we do have a shell for the extension and very fine it is too. Completed ahead of schedule and at the price quoted - sinister eh?

 

So what have we got? Well so far about 62m2 of blockwork building with a single ply membrane roof with skylights installed. We also have all the wiring in for the 40 or so lights for this area and some rendering on the external walls. The weather has been a bit brutal for this piece of work and I am so grateful for Antonio who has continued in the torrential and icy rain. A lesser person (such as myself) would have buggered off down the greasy spoon for a couple of hours but not him. In fact he stayed until about 7.30 last night to make the most of the break in the weather. I am sure his lovely wife Sacha was delighted to have no assistant for bed and bathtime for the children and was singing my praises throughout the evening...However, though small consolation it will be to her, Antonio's work is amazing and I am now considering defecting from Restylane to sand and cement.

 

If the weather is not too grim and the render can be finished we hope to plasterboard the ceiling next week and get on with the chasing out for the sockets etc. Alan made a mercy dash from Cyprus on Monday evening to start the wiring. Although I am devoted to take away's and sachet dinners for one, CB and the children are sick of bread and jam, Pomm Bears and fish and chips. I have promised if we can just eat at the Tulip cafe three times a day for the next four or five weeks then I'll knock up a meal or two for them when we get a cooker. In the meantime I shall enjoy private dinners while CB is away ( on Wednesday I dined like a Queen on a box of Mint Matchmakers and some old wine I found at the back of the fridge).

 

I would like a Tsunami kitchen but it would not like the budget I have to acquire it. The model I dream of is called Atelier and comes in at about 80k. Yes, that is eighty thousand pounds. Although I have no doubt it represents  fine value  blah blah blah it is definitely not within even light years of our budget. Thus we have turned to McGovern Carpentry and Design to build an approximation of this for us. Barry, who along with his partner Steve and team built the extension, is a nifty carpenter. He has had a look at the kitchen and we have come up with a design that he could build for us.  Although it will not have been hand crafted by ethereal beings using gossamer and fairy tools in the same way as Tsunami kitchens must clearly be, I think it will be amazing as he is clearly a talented man. In fact it would be worth saying that the whole of the team have been delightful and the whole process to date has been virtually stress free. I say virtually only because I have developed extreme nervousness and anxiety lately none of which is related in any way to the build or the builders. I have been prescribed Dr Stuart's tranquility tea by a friend of mine who although, as he keeps telling me, is nudging 50, looks about 35. If it works I shall be amazed but grateful as not sleeping is undoing all the good work of the facial filling

 

a remarkable boy.

 

My gorgeous nephew, Louis, died this morning after a long and courageous battle with a brain tumor.

 

He was born four weeks after my eldest daughter, Bella, and they were the best of friends. From a very early age they had a deep connection which was only reinforced over time. They would spend hours engrossed in potion making and concocted lots of things that would have put Mr Potter to shame.

 

Louis remarkable parents, Sue and Liz, ensured that this dreadful disease had as little impact on his life as possible and were active in finding the right treatments for him. It is a testament to them that right until the end Louis still had an amazing life full of love and happiness. Both Louis and Bella were aware that he had "bad seeds" in his head and that these affected him physically. They adapted to the new Louis beautifully, enjoying one another's company to the end.

 

The world will be a sadder place for his passing.

 

A question I have asked myself many times since number four began. Well, wait for the drum roll, we are in and living in some of the rooms.

 

Although far from finished the financial relief of no longer running two houses and the logistics of running between the two compensates for much of the mess and dust in which we are living. In fact, I have embraced the life of grime to such an extent that I wish we had surrendered fewer rooms to the act of bathing and just stuck with the babywipe top and tail which I have grown so fond of. I would have made a fine bed ridden dowager lying around waiting to be sponged down and fed rose and violet creams.

 

The extension is looking good so far although not remotely similar to the original design. This is as a result of several factors not least of all the woeful original estimate of the build costs. The latest feature to fall by the wayside is the fixed panels either side of extension. Specified at 2.7m high by 2.4 wide they have proved far too heavy and far too expensive and more suited to a commercial application. Despite valiant efforts by the builders to resolve the issue we are going to have glazing bars down the panels if we are to avoid a crane lifting them over the building etc etc etc. Yawn. Lesson to be learnt here: do not go along with what is suggested without doing own research first on cost and feasibility etc.

 

The garden is looking truly shocking and is not enhanced by the rubble pile in the middle. The good news is that Sarah Hammond is back on board with some fabulous ideas which we might be able to achieve on a budget less than a Kings ransom. Having met with a potential contractor yesterday,  I allowed myself the luxury of hope and a box of Mint Match Makers to celebrate. The enjoyment was only briefly interrupted by a small skirmish above as one small daughter told the other she was an "unkind penis".

 

You will all be glad to know that we have taken delivery of yet another giant skip, this time a 25 yarder, which I hope will be the last. I think, but cannot be sure, this is the 13th - unlucky for some?

So so sad. We have been trying hard to get storage built at number four but are failing miserably.

 

We have found lots of great tradesmen but cannot afford the prices quoted. Some are clearly reasonable for the quality offered but outside of our budget and others have clearly, mistakenly, believed that a large house equals large bank balance. Not in this equation I'm afraid.

 

Were we seeking solid wood I could understand that a 2.5m x 2mm run could cost 3k but it is only MDF and the materials could not cost more than 200 quid. Coupled with the fact that this is not to be painted by the maker but by me and it makes it look like a very bad deal indeed. Another chap suggested that this run would take three weeks to build - is he on a go slow before he even starts?

 

So what to do? Well I have decided in the short term we should buy something off the peg and wait for funds to magically appear for the real thing. With this in mind I went to a furniture outlet recommended by Alison Cork in her really useful column. Located in deepest darkest Deptford I did not hold out much hope - and I was not disappointed. Really very depressing indeed - lots of DFS style items crammed into a warehouse manned by disaffected youths. Note to this store - you are not allowed to smoke in here anymore and hiding behind beds to do so does not change that fact. About to leave, I suddenly spotted a very nice wardrobe . Still too expensive but thought it might be worth a punt at a reduction and asked the feral looking boy nearby what they could do. He returned to suggest that he put it through the till at the wrong price and then I bunged him a " 50 quid drink". Ah. Note to youth - this is theft not discount. No sale.

 

So off to Ikea today for some of their wobbly clothes rails.

 

Having demolished the rear additions work has begun on the foundations. Although we have reached the very depths of despair re the 2m deep foundations we had sufficiently recovered to carry on. Well I am afraid that Sid and Kenneth would be turning in their graves now - carrying on is not an option for now.

 

Some terrible fool has misguidedly tried their hand at underpinning a section of wall by the party wall line. They have in effect poured a lump of concrete, reinforced with steel bars along about half a meter and going down, who knows? Maybe to Australia. The most pitiful thing about this is that it would not have effected a repair or even stabilized a wall in any event as the concrete stops short of any wall or foundation. It is just a big useless lump that now requires serious time and labour to break out. All of which costs a lot. Of course.

 

Have to be grateful to our diligent builders who have brought this to our attention rather than merely covering it up, but could have done without this news today. It is wet, cold and we are all covered in thick ginger clay. Maybe I could sell it to the Sanctuary as a new beauty treatment, previously unknown beyond the far flung shores of Sarf East London, and finance the rest of the work?

 

Some people only see things in black or white. I have always seen things in grey and now I have hair to match.

 

Thanks to my mother, I saw my first grey hair in my teens and have been colouring it in, with various degrees of success, ever since.

 

I sported a foul flat top at about 16, dyed a lovely combo of red and gold. Clearly very nasty indeed but I though I was the epitome of a Northern Soul Girl albeit born, and still living, in Essex. At least it covered the first few grey's. I quickly progressed to a perm on top and a few very yellow highlights which, for some reason, I felt  looked better than a few grey strands. In hindsight I bore a striking resemblance to the lead singer of Orange Juice ( a terribly fashionable band (then) for more youthful readers). 

 

The short hair with light perm gave way to longer hair with Dynasty type proportions as the eighties wore on. I fondly imagined I looked glamorous and sophisticated beyond my 18 years but I was mistaken. The photographic evidence conclusively proves that I looked like a cut price Bonnie Tyler tribute band member looking for a booking in a Southend night spot - TOTs anyone?

 

I think it was only in the early nineties when the bob had a revival that my hair came into it's own - for about two months. Downhill again thereafter until now, as I approach my fortieth year, I find myself at number four with hair to rival Cruella De Ville and not a puppy in sight. Having given up the whole thankless task of three weekly appointments to colour in the telltale white line I am now reaping the benefits of that decision. I may be 100 quid a month better off but my elder daughter is mortified and my younger delighted that I look like her favourite Grandmother.

 

The grey does have two fans though. The first our 74 year old carpenter who proclaimed it very nice and suited to a woman of my age ( guess who is sacked?) and the second who works in a  local DIY shop who has watched the descent into blizzard hair and said that not to tell anyone but that he has always found grey hair attractive - secretly of course, in the way that any shameful fancy should be kept. To those who would shun us grey haired people I have only two words - George Clooney.